Navigating Thanksgiving
BY: Erin Brown, LMHC-A
Thanksgiving can bring a mix of emotions and stressors, and it’s important to recognize how these can affect us. You may be seeing family who have values, experiences, and viewpoints that differ from yours. You may be feeling left out of plans with family or friends. You may be going through personal struggles that no one knows about. If you are hosting or helping with the meal, grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning can be heavy demands on your time and wallet.
Common stressors surrounding this holiday are:
- Cleaning
- Cooking
- Politics and arguments surrounding them
- International conflicts and news
- Travel
- Family dynamics
- Loneliness
- Money – the cost of living has increased exponentially in the past 4 years and groceries are way more expensive than they were previously
- Managing a large to-do list
- Feeling tired and/or overwhelmed
- Dietary restrictions – for example, lactose intolerant, gluten-free, diabetic, vegan, vegetarian, or pescatarian diets
- Awkwardness of seeing family members or friends that you may only see at the holidays
- Illness from COVID-19, the flu, and/or colds
These stressors and others capture the complexities of holiday gatherings. Managing expectations, family dynamics, and the pressure to make everything perfect can be overwhelming. It might help to prioritize self-care and set realistic goals for the holiday. Here are some tips to ease the stress:
Prepare Ahead
- Plan Your Menu: Decide on your dishes in advance and make a grocery list to streamline shopping.
- Make A Budget: Set a realistic budget for groceries.
- Work In Chunks: Prioritize tasks and break them into manageable chunks. Use checklists to stay organized and focused.
- Delegate Tasks: If you’re hosting, don’t hesitate to ask family or friends to bring a dish or help with cleanup.
- Plan Your Travel Early: Consider flexible departure times and allow extra time for delays. If possible, explore virtual options to connect with loved ones.
- Plan Ways to Combat Loneliness: If you’re spending the holiday alone, reach out to friends or volunteer in your community. Consider hosting a virtual gathering.
- Know Your Risk: Stay updated on health guidelines, encourage hand washing, and consider outdoor gatherings if possible to minimize illness risk.
- Rest Up: Ensure you get enough rest in the days leading up to Thanksgiving. Schedule downtime on the day itself.
Set Boundaries
- Limit Political Discussions: If certain topics lead to tension, it’s okay to steer conversations away from them.
- Schedule Downtime: Allow yourself breaks during gatherings to recharge.
Manage Expectations
- Be Realistic: Understand that it’s okay if everything isn’t perfect. Focus on enjoying the time with loved ones.
- Accept Your Feelings: If you’re feeling sad or anxious, acknowledge those feelings rather than pushing them aside.
Stay Mindful
- Practice Gratitude: Take a moment to reflect on what you’re thankful for, which can help shift your mindset.
- Breathe and Relax: Simple breathing exercises or short mindfulness breaks can help reduce stress.
Focus on Self-Care
- Stay Active: Incorporate some physical activity, even if it’s just a walk, to boost your mood.
- Rest Well: Prioritize sleep and relaxation to help manage fatigue.
- Have an “out”: Plan ways that you can get out of the house if it all becomes too much for you and you need to be alone for a bit.
Remember, it’s about connection and gratitude, not perfection. Whatever your plans, take care of yourself and reach out for support if you need it!